Do you remember when you were young? The joy that you would get from finding a ladybug, or ladybird, whichever you want to call it.

It surprisingly didn't take me long to make, and the inside was a checker board design. I had to make a Lego mould to get the fondant to work, and I will be making a video soon about how I made this.

I was really pleased with how this cake turned out!

Today's been a bit of a strange day.

It started off fine, everything was great, but then I went onto Instagram and saw some extremely sad posts about a family who lost their little boy over the weekend.

My heart is heavy for them. I can't even begin to imagine their pain.

I've been trying my best to keep my cool with L today, especially after seeing these posts.

It's been hitting me that I'm leaving, very soon in fact, and I'm trying my best to stay calm with him, because I know I only have three more weeks until I'm gone for four months. 

But it's hard. It's very hard. Especially at the moment when he thinks that he's the boss, and that he's in charge.

And then I hear about things like this and I feel guilty. I feel guilty for getting angry at L over the littlest things, when out there, somewhere in the world, there are people aching for their children.

People who can't have children, people who have lost their children, or will lose their children.

Yes, we're all human, and I know I'm allowed to get mad, but I just feel terrible for it sometimes, because then the thoughts come into my head about what if it was me? What if I was in their shoes?

No, I don't know this family personally, but that's not the point. I can't even begin to comprehend what it must feel like for them to be going through this.

My thoughts have been going back to them all day, and even through the anger, I've been holding my little boy closer and tighter.

I love him, no matter what, and that will never change. 

I'm going to make sure he knows it, every single day, even on the days I'm not here with him.

Yes, it's that time of year again!

Last Monday L started school for the year again, which he was excited for.

The holidays seemed like they went forever this year, though maybe that's just because I was working for pretty much all of them.

It's crazy to believe what this year is going to bring for us as a family.

L will be six. I'm going to miss a bit of the school year with him, but I'm going to try my best to make the part of the year that I am here amazing for him. 

I'm going to be more active with the things I get involved in with school. My work hours may limit my ability to do that, but I will try my best.

When I look at this picture, I see my baby, but I see him as a growing boy, who before I know it will be ready to leave home.

It makes me sad with how quickly the years ahead of us will go, but I want to make sure they are filled with only positives.

I felt like writing a letter to L today, enjoy...

Dear L...

I thought today I would write you a letter.

You've been really amazing me these past few weeks with how well you've been doing at school, and I love hearing from the teachers and other parents about how well liked you are, or how you're such a chatter box.

I'm so proud of you.

A few things aren't quite how I would like them... like the attitude you've picked up since starting school. And although I try and keep calm while you yell and hit me, sometimes I can't and I yell back.

For this I'm sorry. I don't want to be mean, but sometimes my patience just wears so thin.

We've been working together to stop it, and so far it's working. I hope it stays that way.

You're really looking forward to the school holidays because you get to see your cousin, who you keep saying you miss. It will be nice to go away for a small holiday to see them, and I'm sure by that time the newest of your cousins may be here.

Another gorgeous girl to add to them. Soon you and the two Z's will be outnumbered by all the girls, but that's okay.

You're still my little boy, no matter how big you get.

Love Mummy

So it's the end of Master L's first full week at school... he seems to be liking it, and when I asked what his favourite part was, he answered eagerly with 'READING'.

Bless him, I hope he is still eager to read the older he gets.

I decided I would share photos from the first five years of his life today.

And finally...

So... it was that time of year again. Birthday party time.

I am still in denial that Master L turns 5 tomorrow. I don't want him to grow up. It's crazy, and the last five years have gone so quickly.

I will have a full post in a couple of days with a wee story about him over the past five years. For now, I'm just going to show off the awesome cake I made for him!

He wanted a rainbow, superhero cake. I had Friday night to make it, and this is what I came up with.

The 'Super L' was made from royal icing. I printed off the image, and put some baking paper on top of it and piped it on. I left it to dry for a day and very carefully transferred it to the top of the cake.

Half of the colours in the cake were made using gel colours, and half using ordinary liquid ones. There was no dulling of colours like I thought there would be, though in icing is when I find the dulling happens.

There is a thin layer of lemon swiss meringue buttercream between each layer of cake, and the 'spikes' on the outside are swiss meringue that had gone almost like marshmallow.

The party was a hit. He had an amazing time, and even the rain couldn't stop us. Thank you community halls!

Linking up at Fun with Food

And I literally just noticed that all of these photos happen to be him eating foods for the first time {and enjoying it}

L has started playing league, and in the weekend he had his first game which went much better than i had expected it to.

It took him a while to want to get out there and play, but he did, and he had fun doing it so that's the main thing.

He loves it too. Every day he asks me if he has rugby, it goes a little like this.

L: Do I have rugby today?

Me: No, not today...

L: Awww {Insert sad pouty face}

It's nice that he's so interested and excited in playing, and I know that as the season goes on he will be more confident in playing.

 

Also I'm moving house next week! I move so much!

Wow... it feels like only yesterday I was still pregnant. However it obviously wasn't, in fact yesterday was L's first school visit.

It so scary how quickly these last five years have gone, and it just scares me that the next five, ten, fifteen years will go by just as quickly.

There are a lot of things I wish I had done differently these past five years, but there are also so many things I wouldn't change for the world.

Starting school is a huge milestone in a child's life, but I know he's going to love it. He's already so excited. I think it's going to be me that has a hard time with him going.

To all those mamas out there with children who are already at school, how hard was it for you to realise they weren't a really baby anymore?

I sat down to do this post on Tuesday... Five minutes into it, I got the sudden urge to become productive and do some sewing.

This hasn't been happening a lot lately, but I'm glad it did. I tested out some new patterns I have made and will share the results tomorrow! It's exciting.

So now, a week from when I left on my small holiday, you will get the wrap up post.

We left on Thursday afternoon and went up to Hanmer for the weekend. I had never been before, and let me tell you this... I loved it! What a lovely wee town, and even when I didn't want to spend $30+ to get L and myself into the pools, there was still other things to do.

My mum, with working for the military, was lucky enough to get the ballot for the holiday housing that they have there. It was a great wee house we stayed in, and what was even better was that on the same property, there were two other houses. L made some friends over the weekend, who are the children of someone mum works with. It was nice to see him playing and having fun with some other kids for once. I think he gets  bit lonely when he's not at daycare.

So over our weekend we went to the pools, played some mini golf, explored the town, went to a small animal farm, and then went to the pools some more.

L had a fantastic time, and was so excited that the Easter Bunny still knew where he was. Funny that... the kids next door even invited him to join in on their hunt.







How was your Easter weekend?

P.S. I've noticed that Google Reader is going to close down soon, so I have made my blog followable through Bloglovin!  Follow my blog with Bloglovin

You know those times when one day everything is great, the next not so much? What am I talking about, I'm pretty sure everyone knows what it's like.

Today was one of those days where I was constantly asking myself, why couldn't it have been like yesterday.

Yesterday was smooth, easy, no arguments were had. Dinner was even consumed in one sitting without complaints.

Why can't every day be like that?

Today... today I just wanted to pull my hair out to be perfectly honest with you.

But, my goal, is to relax a bit more, and not let the little annoyances get to me. 

This is what I'm going to have to do, or I'll end up with more days where I want to pull my hair out instead of the nice calm days.

Have some photos of L on the nice day, pretending to be a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.

This kids imagination gets me every time. I hope for more days like this in the future.

Linking up with Miriam @ Create Hope Inspire